Grief in General
Grief is one of America’s biggest taboos. It’s largely avoided, because people feel uncomfortable seeing others exposing such intimate and unchecked emotions. We’ve grown up in a society in which tears are seen as a sign of weakness (how many times have you heard sayings like “walk it off” or “big boys don’t cry”?). The average workplace offers few or no paid days off for bereavement, and airlines extend only small discounts on fares for those who have to travel at the last minute because of a death.
Dealing With Your Grief
If you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, we offer our heartfelt condolences. Scott’s Chapel Hill Mortuary offers both online and personal information and services that will assist you with your grieving process. The following list offers ideas that can help you deal with your personal loss. Be sure to refer to the grief resources offered on our web site.
- Recognize that the grief you are experiencing is unique.
- There is not one correct way to grieve, so you must find the best way for yourself.
- Be realistic about what you can expect from others during your grieving period.
- Do not let others determine your grief experience or minimize your loss.
- Be assertive. Tell others what you need.
- Look for support from those who listen to you without being judgmental, allowing you to express your feelings with permissiveness and accept what you are going through.
- Allow yourself some negative feelings and uncharacteristic reactions.
- Try not to isolate yourself for long periods of time.
- Realize that you do not need to fit this into your religious or philosophical framework immediately.
- Identify, accept and express all your various feelings over the loss and its consequences.
- Many people find that writing out these feelings is a helpful first step of the process.
- Try to identify and begin to deal with the many areas of your life that have been affected by your loss.
- Do not forget that even if it doesn’t feel like it today, your pain will subside at some point if you continue to work through your grief.